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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
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Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
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ultraluxe
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Every time I post a picture and one of my new readers realizes I'm a hot chick and not 15/m/4chan I lol real hard.
Thought for the day: Now maybe Avenged Sevenfold can get a decent drummer, then they just need a new guitarist, bassist, singer, and name.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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marquisdd
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There's a Twitter Trend called #antiquerap that I feel somewhat qualified to partake in.
Bat? Liz? Kallistí? Care to join?
Here are some of mine. Some are obvious. Others, less. Thus, translations beyond the cut because they can get rather … obfuscatory.
- Lose yourself in the majestic world of literature. I do not speak of accounts of fellows desporting themselves upon the green, nor a mere periodical; rather, a bleedin' three-volume novel!
- That churlish doxy would fare well to obtain and henceforth relinquish unto me a certain measure of guineas.
- Praytell, whither your paternal lineage?
- In the unfortunate event of your ignorance as to the nomenclature of this evening's merry distractions, it is yclept, "The Show."
- The two-storey chaise-and-four from Holland wends its way hither along the high street. And at such a rapid gait! I hie quickly!
- Are we not fortunate to have passed these recent days in so agreeable a fashion? It is the best of times!
- Bustles! Bosoms! Bustles and bosoms! Bustles, bustles, bosoms, bosoms! Bustles and bosoms!
- Make way, slattern, for verily do I wish to pass.
- Trey, in the realm of numerology, is the most mystical indeed.
- Forsooth I once again hie myself to western climes. O'er the Rockies. Beyond the Sierras. Thither go I, though it is incredulous, even to me.
- A call has been made, of the specificity of CLXXXVII, regarding the early demise of an incognito agent of the constabulary.
- The celestial visitor has ceased his consumption of carriages and free houses. He now sustains himself solely upon devouring lutes and lyres.
- Pray, relinquish that cigarillo widdershins.
- Shall we endeavor to augment the the general temperament of the guests at this soirée in a manner befitting the occasion?
- A close approximation of my previous statement: "Blimey! What ample haunches!"
- To dispute my sentiment is fruitless: parents the world over lack empathy for their offspring.
( Whatchoo say? )
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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poisonpen
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The next series of posts is going to be a time-capsule of the 00s as told by certain of my LiveJournal (or Diaryland) entries from the past. I’m going to be selecting and reposting an entry for each year from 2000 to 2009, one that I decide is my favorite for whatever reason and which in some way best encapsulates for me, symbolically or realistically, that particular year. The furthest back I was able to go in my archives was June 2000 so that’s where I started my research.
This first entry is from June of 2000. It was fucking hard to choose one because many of the entries written from June to October in 2000 occurred during my last 6 months in SF before the move to NOLA. I was living large about 5 nights a week! Oh and actually, I’m reposting 2 entries from 2000 in this one – the first from while I was still in SF and the second from my first few months in New Orleans. Both of these are from when I was using Diaryland! (Note to Toddums: OH THE NOSTALGIA!!!) And away we go…..
06/13/2000 Moody Tuesday
6:45 a.m. I awake to a loud car commercial on the radio. I have a three margarita hangover so I shut it off before Radio Alarm Divination kicks in. I reconsider getting up and reset the clock radio to 7:30 am. Carefully, as not to exacerbate my aching being, I crawl back under the gentle, soothing blankets. In doing so I blatantly ignore the cats’ requests for food, and they are offended. I hear one of them pushing around the pages of a newspaper. The rustling is very loud.
7:30 am. Clock radio goes off. Unrecognizable and loud song is playing. Hangover prevailing, I shut off radio again to prevent unwanted Radio Alarm Divination. Feed cats. Drink a tall glass of water. Jump into a quick bath. Think about going back to bed for an hour and calling in late.
8:08 a.m. Turn on television to watch while pulling it together for work. A really truly irritating episode of Northern Exposure is on. One of the most irritating ever. Unable to take eyes from television, I watch this episode in appalled disbelief. Hangover is vanquished but is replaced by a cranky mood. The lesser of two evils. I suppose.
8:45 a.m. Officially late for work as I cannot walk there in 15 minutes. Reset clock radio for my jaunt to Tranny Shack later tonight to see Heklina celebrate her birthday by hostessing a salute to the Cure. I don’t care how painful and irritating my day has begun -- I’m NOT missing this event. When they did their salute to 70s stadium rock -- it was so extremely funny that I thought I was going to weep!
4:30 p.m. I have successfully hated my day. One-half hour to go and then it’s Disco Nap time for a few hours before meeting Kelly after her Rocky Horror rehearsal. She and I will scamper to Fury Night at Cat Club for a quick cocktail and then up one block to the Stud for Tranny Shack. Ah the bliss of evening debauch after a dreary administrative day.
Death Guild Monday night was a blast yet again! So many lovely people. Well worth the above-mentioned 3 margarita hangover. There was some rampant quipping going on, mostly from the droll Jason El D who is quite a fetching and entertaining club companion! The drink stats are simple --we all had margaritas. My favorite exchange was this one:
Miss Lynda: “What are you doing now that you’re done with school?”
Jason: “I lay around and watch Lifetime all damn day!”
Me: “Oh my god! You mean the Lifetime for Women Channel? I love that channel! It’s so tawdry!”
Jason: “Oh honey, it’s not JUST the Lifetime for Women channel --it’s the Lifetime for Women, Big Fags, and Unemployed She-Males channel.”
I told Miss Lynda and Jason that the Kelly and I were going to Tranny Shack for their tribute to the Cure night and Jason said something to the effect that there was going to be a helluva lot of “Haunted Hair” in attendance.
Honing my bartender-bonding skills all across town….
11/14/2000 The Longest Night
is still going on. My thoughts are diffuse although my mood today is petulant and somber because of -- oh-- THINGS, sweeties. Things that seem lovely and then go inexplicably awry -- but that's for later musing and pondering and sulking.
Mein Gott! Marquis and I have had oodles of lovely people in NOLA for the last week or so -- some of them his familial counterparts and others great friends old and new from across the galaxy, er, globe. It seems my capricious activities were not a knee-jerk coping mechanism for despising my existence in San Francisco the last few years. It seems, dahlings, that I have the genetic predisposition for social gadabouting and nightlife frenzies. A genetic heritage I can be proud of!
The most memorable night into grueling day into night that kept going until morning and then continued throughout the afternoon and seems to still be going on with only a few cat naps (and attendance at the Day Job) in between started last Friday. Last Friday Michele strolled in around 11 p.m. and promptly threw her night drag on and joined me for Club Slut at the Shim Sham. Michele and I are dangerous with tequila and this time proved no exception. We laughed and stumbled our way to and from various places:
"We're at the Hide-Out? Wait! How DID we get here again?"
"Is that the moon -- no! That CAN'T be the sun."
"I don't remember eating any food."
"Where did this piece of paper come from and who's Bird?"
"He's a welder and his name is Nadine."
"Did Robbie fall on the floor or did I imagine that?"
"How do we get home from here?"
"Where the fuck is the Avenue Pub?"
Along with the above disjointed Friday straight through to Saturday debauch, Ole Senor Cuervo brought out the saucy minx in me and I had a simply mahvelous exchange with Cute-Boy who informed me that he wanted to "take me somewhere and do lots of nasty things to me." Don't mind if I do! However, time, surly bitch that she is, has interfered it seems and so goes the inexplicable arrival of "awry" into the situation.
But I digress...
Friday was indeed long and ravenously fun. Michele and I met a couple of other pals and some of the Marquis’ family at the Shim Sham and proceeded to laugh and stumble our way through almost 72 hours of relentless revelry. Michele and I outlasted everyone last Friday and rolled in at 8:30 in the a.m. on Saturday, took some brief catnaps until around 10:30 a.m. and then it was off to Dr. Ken's for a party that stretched from early afternoon through late evening and then back again to the Shim Sham for Glitter. Then Sunday happened and Michele and Badjuju and I had a Pink Sunday (it's a SECRET). Michele left (wah!) but Badjuju is still here and continues to be fabulous and fun and now it's Tuesday morning and I ACHE but in a good way. Sleep seems like a quaint concept. One I 'd like to embrace more fully soon.
I think my weekend started last Wednesday night but, apparently, my weekend is determined to continue without pause as I glance at my "do's to do" list for this week.
Saw Cute-Boy on Saturday after that Friday and there was a surliness to his demeanor that I shrugged off as "bad night/day/mood" but I also ran into him last night at Punk and Porno night at the Shim Sham and had a conversation that seemed strained -- at least on his end. Detective that I am I must assume that "things have gone awry" and I get to savor the aftermath known as "I guess he's not really interested after all." I could of course be misinterpreting the vibe since my intuitive faculties are exhausted and my perceptions are no doubt occupied elsewhere with things like "brush your teeth," "yes, a bath is a lovely experience," "no don't wear THAT shirt with THAT skirt, are you mad?" Bollocks, I say, because I really do like him. I told the Marquis last night that it almost feels like The Jinx has followed me from San Francisco. (The Things That Go Inexplicably Awry Jinx. We've all been pestered by that one.)
I refuse to accept that The Jinx has found me out. It will interfere with my euphoria at living in New Orleans.
What does the future hold on my many horizons? Oh go figure...
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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chihuahuas
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Chavez, also known as P-man, had another episode today.
He didn't totally lock up like the last time, and he doesn't go into convulsions and he doesn't pee himself. His first one was over a year ago on Halloween, so while I am disturbed I am hopeful that this will not develop into a more serious condition. It's been over a year between episodes.
When they happened he pulls his front legs really close to his chest. It's almost like a muscle spasm. If he tries to walk his moves are over exaggerated and jerky, like a weird spider walk. When they happened I brought him into the bed room and covered him in a blanket. They don't last more than a minute or so. If I had to guess I would say maybe two minutes. When he snaps out of it he's totally fine, like nothing ever happened.
Here's a vid of another dog in similar state (it's kind of distrubing to watch though)
Chihuahua seizure 11/18/07
They had half a bowl full of dog food and fresh water when this happened. He's not a big eater so hypoglycemia may play a part. After he snapped out of it I gave him some cerial to get his sugars up and he was all about it. I know from experience he won't eat when he feels something is wrong.
Not really sure what the deal is. In the back of my mind I wonder if it's some side effect from when he had his elbow surgery, they didn't adjust the heat blanket for his size and the almost cooked him, then trying to bring his temperature down they almost froze him- this at the best animal hospital in the state, one of the best in the country. Fuck, I'll drive myself nuts over this.
Anyone deal with anything like this before?
( and so this isn't a total downer here are some more pics from the other day )
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Comments: Read 25 or Add Your Own.
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yoga
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i am moving out of tx and thought i should share my research of yoga studios primarly on the north side of san antonio instead of deleting the entry. here are the ones i've found out:
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noladarkside
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This Wednesday, Dec 30th at the Rubyfruit Jungle, Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Years Eve Party! Bring costumes! Journey with us to the depths of the ocean for an evening of Victorian adventure! It's Steampunk meets science meets squid! Featuring the DJs Arielmoon, Vendetta, and yours truly, Tot Kuhjunge!
( Dive! Dive! )
Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Year's Party
The Rubyfruit Jungle
1135 Decatur
10pm
$3 cover
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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neworleans
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This Wednesday, Dec 30th at the Rubyfruit Jungle, Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Years Eve Party! Bring costumes! Journey with us to the depths of the ocean for an evening of Victorian adventure! It's Steampunk meets science meets squid! Featuring the DJs Arielmoon, Vendetta, and yours truly, Tot Kuhjunge!
( Dive! Dive! )
Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Year's Party
The Rubyfruit Jungle
1135 Decatur
10pm
$3 cover
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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frenchquarter
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This Wednesday, Dec 30th at the Rubyfruit Jungle, Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Years Eve Party! Bring costumes! Journey with us to the depths of the ocean for an evening of Victorian adventure! It's Steampunk meets science meets squid! Featuring the DJs Arielmoon, Vendetta, and yours truly, Tot Kuhjunge!
( Dive! Dive! )
Corrosion presents the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Nearly New Year's Party
The Rubyfruit Jungle
1135 Decatur
10pm
$3 cover
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 28th, 2009
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chihuahuas
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trying to keep warm.. he is about 9months old... his name is bean.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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chihuahuas
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hello , i have a questions? do u guys think its better to fix your dog ? do u guys think that fixing them will help with the little pees that they do wile they are in heat ? mine is litter trained but i notice that he pees a little bit out side his box when he is in heat.. what do u guys think i should do to stop that ? thanks in advance:)
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Comments: Read 21 or Add Your Own.
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poisonpen
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The only thing I enjoy about this time of year (besides the cooler weather) is the holiday time off from work. This year it was Thursday Xmas eve through Sunday – huzzah! I went out with friends on Wednesday after work and had oodles of fun but also got T R A S H E D. I had eaten lunch at around 2pm that day and then ingested nothing else (but vodka drinks) during the marathon of fun that followed. I passed out at home without so much as eating a slice of bread to soak up some of the damage. And as we all should know by now: drinking on a empty stomach = horrid after effects.
Soooo my Thursday was pretty much a lost day. One spent in bed watching endless On Demand eps of tv shows containing lighthearted antics as well as movies of the same lighthearted ilk. The stupider the better because they distracted me while I battled a miserable queasiness that was coupled with an overall sense of impending doom. An impending doom sense is always triggered, at least in me, by the physical strain of a Bad Hangover. Once the physical aspects of the hangover subside, the doom slanted perspective fades away. After about 4pm I was able to eat delicious healthy steamed broccoli and mashed potatoes. All was right again with the world, so much so that my earlier anguished promise to myself to never ever ever drink again seemed melodramatic. And unpleasantly restrictive. Not surprisingly, I will not be honoring that promise! However, Stoli and I are having a trial separation.
Friday I spent the entire day doing productive and pleasant things around the home. I did not feel at all inclined to attend the various social enticements going and opted instead for lazy lounging about in solitude.
Saturday I assumed that because the weather was cold and gray that no one would be doing any after xmas shopping. I was so tragically wrong. Downtown was a nightmare scenario of epic proportions. After a futile and infuriating 40 minutes or so threading my way through the hordes of IDIOTS swarming the streets, I headed back home. But first, it started to rain. And I had no umbrella. I refused to buy one because I already have FOUR of them at home. So, I finally arrived home cold, wet and bitchy. The rain worsened and since none of the events going on that evening were seducing me enough to be social, I stayed in again. I was kind of getting the hang of this solitude/sloth thing and kind of liking it too!
Sunday I met a bunch of friends at Café Flore and we sipped hot spicy mulled wine for HOURS in chilly but lovely, clear weather. I went home around dusk feeling a little tipsy and glowing from the inside out (warmed red wine + mulling spices = cheerful glow!)
This past weekend was a wonderful and relaxing interlude in an annoying holiday month. Unfortunately, I had insomnia last night. (Too much relaxing over the weekend? What the hell?) Part of the insomnia problem may have been because I started watching the AbFab marathon on the BBC channel and continued doing so for 5 plus hours. Around 2am I still wasn’t sleepy so I started watching Factory Girl but I got totally into it and was less sleepy than ever. (Note to self: don’t watch something entertaining or interesting if you are trying to kick insomnia and get to sleep).
I finally panicked a bit when I realized it was 3:30 a.m. b/c I had to be up at 6 a.m. for the long shifts at work this week. BRUTAL. I’m at work now until 7pm and I am obsessively watching the seconds tic by as I gaze longingly at the space under my desk where I could curl up and catnap if I dared. I can’t wait to get home and slide into bed. Although I am going to try and stay awake until at least 10:30 so as to preclude another bout of insomnia that may happen because of going to sleep too early.
This Friday is another holiday for me so three day weekend, ahoy! At this point I have no plans to participate in any festivities on New Year’s Eve. It’s too….well….too much of everything I don’t want to deal with – that’s the best way to put it.
I do have pleasant anticipation and excitement for the unknown that is 2010 though. We’ll see how it all plays out as the months roll by one by one.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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neworleans
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| Posted by: | xulong. |
| Time: | 6:43 pm. |
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You guys have been really great about answering my questions! I was wondering if any of you had any experience with a temp agency? Like, which ones are good and which ones I should stay away from. Thanks in advance!
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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gohei
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white people, wash cloths
Dave Chappelle, who the fuck is
Renee Zellweger?
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gohei
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she is an evil
don't let her innocence tempt you
Oh, coloring book!
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gohei
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little pokemon
pika pika peekachu!
bag kitten's footsies
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matel
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i have started and stopped 2 books in 2 days...
one of them i was enjoying for about 30 pages (the elegance of the hedgehog) and them i was just like, eh, it's not going fast enough for me so i put it down and watched a criminal minds marathon instead
i may have to read a james patterson book or something to get me out of this funk!
i need to turn the pages!!
*EDIT*
found one...beat the reaper by josh bazell
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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neworleans
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Yesterday I heard rumors that the Mid City Bonfire is going to be shut down this year. Is there any validity to this? If the "high and mighty" have finally managed it, I say we start planning now to make the Bonfire for 2011 one that the "high and mighty" will never forget, by getting organized now.
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Comments: Read 15 or Add Your Own.
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marquisdd
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No, it's not voodoo; it's acupuncture.
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Sunday, December 27th, 2009
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victorine
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I went out last night to Oz with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) marquisdd, Ben and Nathan. We were remarking on how stupid it was that every drink cost something and 25 cents. This usually leads to the bartenders only being tipped in change. Anyway, then I had a dream that I was at my doctor's office getting the mole on my neck removed. They usually do surgeries on Mondays, but for some reason when I went in to ask about something else, they told me they could take me right then and there - on a Sunday. I had to call West Jeff, where I usually do massages on Sundays, to tell them to cancel all my appointments because I was going in to surgery. The girl on the phone sounded very concerned that I was at this particular doctor's office. She said something like, "they're not what they seem". Later I noticed that everyone who worked there looked like they were from the cast of Legend of the Seeker, and they were moving things around in horse drawn wagons covered in hay. My mom and dad were there, and Brian was there. He had to pay the doctor before they would start the procedure. Then the local anesthetic started to wear off. The doctor made me walk up the stairs while he walked behind me pushing my shoulders down so that I'd have to work harder to climb the stairs. I suppose this made my blood move faster and I started to feel very heavy. I woke up a while later on a bus with a neat little bandage around my neck. I was dressed in a school girl uniform. I looked around and saw that the bus seats had all been removed to make room for several large metal boxes. Each box advertised a live school girl and there was a coin drop box on the front of each one. You put quarters in and a door opened and inside there was a girl. Then it all made sense. The bartenders at the Oz had to give you quarters so you could buy a girl from these weird vending machines. And the girl at West Jeff was right, I shouldn't have trusted my doctor. Dream logic at its finest!
(that's a horrifying thought: Human trafficking for quarters!)
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neworleans
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| Posted by: | xulong. |
| Time: | 5:50 pm. |
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Anyone know of a furniture store that carries coat racks? Apparently, neither Wal-Mart nor Target carries them in store, but I can order it off their web site.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 26th, 2009
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victorine
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What the H?! This commercial for "Abilify", which I think is a drug for depression, sounds more like a horrible warning. Side effects include high fever, high blood sugar, stroke, heart attack, and possible brain parasites. Just kidding about the parasites. But really! This drug may cure your depression, but most likely it'll just kill you. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.
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ultraluxe
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That is a disgusting and rude question, asked only by people who don't understand the implications of the New Year.
Example:
Quitting heroin is a deeply religious act to commit when the year turns over. Heroin (created by Gregory P. Heroin in 1329) is a dangerous substance to become addicted to, with dry mouth, insomnia, and irritability as common side effects of overdose. It is said in many ancient cultures that on January 1 at 12:15 am, Gregory rises from the dead and bestows anyone seeking to quit the drug with the spiritual wherewithal to do so. The price: the quitter's first-born child will be born blind and unable to digest dairy products. This is precisely why New Year's Resolutions are serious business, and why they are not to be tainted by acts of shallow self-interest.
There are a few problems with people who have New Year's Resolutions such as "Lose 10 pounds by July for vacation in Cabo!" If you need your New Year's Resolution (an act of spiritual cleansing) to be the proverbial foot in your ass, encouraging you to lose weight, you are destined to be a fat procrastinating slob. Forever. Becoming a healthy eater who engages in 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise 3-5 times a week is not an act of someone pursuing the New Year with passion and drive. It is an act of someone who grasps self-respect and self-worth. What you need to admit is that you are a lazy, potato-chip-addicted heifer who expects the month of January to somehow magically provide you with the motivation to make a deep lifestyle change. This will not happen. January is a cold month that will defeat you and make you crave comfort food. It's cold and gross outside.
Do us all a favor, OK? Next time you are in front of one of us in line at the supermarket: Don't explain your new eating regimen (starting January 1), your new gym membership (starting January 1), and your new weight loss plan (starting January 1). Instead, purchase the fucking four supreme-flavored Tony's Pizzas, the gallon of strawberry milk, and the 12-pack of Snickers ice cream bars in your grocery cart, and go home and eat them like a normal fat ass. If you can't stop eating them now, you will not be able to stop eating them on January 1.
[SAUCE]
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neworleans
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Tonight, upstairs at the Rubyfruit Jungle! Corrosion presents the crown jewel of the New Orleans Gothic Empire...
Featuring two floors of Goth, industrial, and ethereal music in an upscale, cocktail lounge atmosphere
We even have a dance floor now!
Doors at 10 p.m.
Upstairs at the Rubyfruit Jungle at 1135 Decatur
$3 cover
Bring a book to donate to Louisiana Books 2 Prisoners and you get in for free!
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noladarkside
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Tonight, upstairs at the Rubyfruit Jungle! Corrosion presents the crown jewel of the New Orleans Gothic Empire...
Featuring two floors of Goth, industrial, and ethereal music in an upscale, cocktail lounge atmosphere
We even have a dance floor now!
Doors at 10 p.m.
Upstairs at the Rubyfruit Jungle at 1135 Decatur
$3 cover
Bring a book to donate to Louisiana Books 2 Prisoners and you get in for free!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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yoga
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hi there. i was wondering where ya'll find yoga icons? the two posts in the tags are not working because the persons account is inactive. as my practice continues my posts become more frequent and i want an icon(changing it as the seasons change) to use and i only have about 4 basic ones. most of the icon communities do celebrities, actors, and anime so i figured looking in those would be looking through a haystack.
thanks in advance. :)
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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marquisdd
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Perhaps in response to the night's events, a number of disturbing dreams linger with me today, despite the Klonopin I took to get to sleep which usually blocks all dreaming.
In the dream, I was at work — dunno what my job was, but it was busy — and I had two days to take a one-sheet quiz consisting of 38 questions. Two days to complete a one-page quiz shouldn't be so hard, I thought.
Question 1: Speak fluent German.
Question 2: Invent and patent something original.
Question 3: Discover a new element.
Question 4: Produce the remains of Jimmy Hoffa.
Question 5: Figure π to its conclusion. Hint: it DOES end.
Question 6: Clone a mammal.
etc…
Somehow I got through most of the page, but then a glass of water spilled on the paper and erased my ink. I didn't have time to start over.
I knew I would be fired.
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marquisdd
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Last night around 4:30am Ben and I were sitting in bed reading our books like a nice old married couple when we heard our car alarm go off. Our car alarm is … overzealous, to say the least, and blats its worrisome herald when as much as a butterfly flaps its wings in China, so we didn't think much of it. I dimly heard a simultaneous crunching noise, but was too engrossed in my book to give it any thought.
At 5:00am, the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang, rang, rang, urgently. Ben answered the door to a few cops who had traced my tags to my address and wished to inform us that our car window had been smashed.
Bundling up against the cold, we went out to investigate. Indeed, the driver's side window was shattered to diamonds and our cheap-o GPS was gone — nothing else was touched.
There was blood on my gearshift, for which I had to smile a little bit, fantasizing that Cracky McCrackhead was now wandering the Quarter bleeding to death. The two itty-bitty-tiny drops of blood communicated that was probably not the case, but a girl can dream.
An hour later the print-taking cop showed up and dusted — found nothing.
Making conversation with the cops, I was lectured sternly about leaving anything of value in sight in my car. Generally speaking we don't leave anything of value in the car. It never occurred to me that a $90ish GPS tracker, which would probably only garner $10 to a thief selling it on the street, was anything to be worried about.
"Guess Santa didn't bring him his Xmas rock," I said to the cop.
"Crime goes up on Christmas," he replied. "The unfortunate prey on the slightly more fortunate more at this time of year than any other." The implication with delivery of this thought was weirdly accusatory. He seemed to be saying, don't judge the thief too harshly. You have more than he does. He deserves this GPS.
Moi, I beg to differ. Strongly beg. Trash is trash, and parasites are parasites, and I have always had a paucity of empathy of goodwill-towards-men-on-soul-destroying-drugs. You hear the same old story enough times and the story becomes boring.
"Fuck that trash," I smiled at the cop. "Can I get you some coffee?"
Ben went back to bed while I finished dealing with the cops and taped a Hefty bag in the vacant window, fingers turning to cold mush.
Now, Ben's outside with a broom cleaning up the diamonds while I make calls to my claims company (offices are closed, merry Xmas).
This "morning" (2pm — didn't get to bed till after dawn), I find myself examining my response to this annoying little incident and the annoying little perp who executed it. And I find, much to my shoulder-shrugging indifference, that I in fact have absolutely no pity, empathy or milk-of-human-kindness to offer him. If I saw him now, I would smash his face in with a fire extinguisher. I hope he's bleeding like an anemic pig with broken fingers from smashing my window. I wish I had examined the smashing noise that harmonized my car's alarm last night, and I wish I had taken the Glock with me. In Louisiana you can legally shoot someone messing with your car. I pray I'll never have to actually use our gun on another human being, but this is not a human being we're dealing with; this is a drug-addled animal.
I suppose this makes me a not-really-very-nice person.
Don't really care. Never claimed to be nice.
Didn'ja see my shoulders shrug?
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gohei
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Tinkle, tinkle drop
The flowers do they not drink
Wither, most certain
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